bingy mcbinge binge, that's me. I might go drown myself in chocolate.
I hate my boyfriend sometimes. He knows I'm on a diet, but he throws all this chocolate my way. I had over 1000 calories in chocolate alone yesterday! And then another 700 in crescents. No wonder I'm a fat tub of shit.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Friday, February 6, 2009
Falling up
Still on this binge cycle. There isn't enough food in this land to satisfy the hunger I feel. It's not physical hunger I know, infact all this food is making me feel beyond ill. Less healthy than starving myself for sure.
On the therapy front, I actually got switched from the girl who did my intake (she's not taking new clients). Apparently she didn't write down the ED stuff, so I just didn't mention it to the new girl. w00t for me. We'll be working mostly on career related issues, and my interpersonal skills.
... The bottle of Tylenol on my desk expires august of this year, how long have I had this bottle!
On the therapy front, I actually got switched from the girl who did my intake (she's not taking new clients). Apparently she didn't write down the ED stuff, so I just didn't mention it to the new girl. w00t for me. We'll be working mostly on career related issues, and my interpersonal skills.
... The bottle of Tylenol on my desk expires august of this year, how long have I had this bottle!
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Hi!
Wow! I have readers :D Hey guys! I'll try to keep posting.
There are two reasons I haven't posted.
1) I've been insanely busy this past week. Hell on earth more like it.
2) I've been ashamed. I've been so busy and so worried about not getting everything done that I've been eating SO FREAKING MUCH.
CW: 126.5 :(
My counciller figured out about my ED, but I'm going to divert that I think.
Also *sigh* major boyfriend issues. I don't love him anymore, and in any other situation I'd have been gone weeks ago. But we live together, and he's... unstable. It will be a huge scene if I even bring up that I want to leave.
I can't really afford rent on this place, but find another place with room for my stuff... ugh. A friend said he'd move with me - he's in a bachelor apt right now and wants to get out as well.
Am I fooling myself by staying?
To make matters worse, me and one of his friends have gotten really close. He's much more my type, we can talk for hours about a ton of subjects.
Ugh. I hate this shit.
There are two reasons I haven't posted.
1) I've been insanely busy this past week. Hell on earth more like it.
2) I've been ashamed. I've been so busy and so worried about not getting everything done that I've been eating SO FREAKING MUCH.
CW: 126.5 :(
My counciller figured out about my ED, but I'm going to divert that I think.
Also *sigh* major boyfriend issues. I don't love him anymore, and in any other situation I'd have been gone weeks ago. But we live together, and he's... unstable. It will be a huge scene if I even bring up that I want to leave.
I can't really afford rent on this place, but find another place with room for my stuff... ugh. A friend said he'd move with me - he's in a bachelor apt right now and wants to get out as well.
Am I fooling myself by staying?
To make matters worse, me and one of his friends have gotten really close. He's much more my type, we can talk for hours about a ton of subjects.
Ugh. I hate this shit.
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